God made robots, right Mom?

Ummmm.....I suppose so, Nemo. Yet another interesting thought swirling around in my little boy's brain. One of hundreds of "not sure how to answer" questions he poses every day. He just wants to know, and he doesn't stop asking until we actually acknowledge him. Ian and I could be in the middle of a fascinating discussion about our latest Netflix arrivals or the not-so-subtle presence of our noisy neighbors or Mia's most recent accomplishment, and Nemo will just start saying the same thing over and over and over, louder and louder and louder, until one of us sighs in irritation and mutters, "Never mind, I'm not going to try and talk over him". We then answer him quickly, but more importantly go on to attempt to convey to him yet another nuance of the art of conversation...namely, not respectful for little children to interrupt their parents. He usually makes eye contact briefly and then proceeds to ask another question or otherwise change the subject completely. Again, we sigh and shake our heads in a very slightly defeated sort of way. Oh, this child. Good thing we love him too much.

Speaking of Mia's most recent accomplishments....add walking and loving to look at books to the list. Every day I delight in sharing her enthusiasm and curiosity for all the bits and pieces she's learning about...the funny sounds she makes with her lips (not to mention how silly she looks!), the precise way she picks up a piece of food and puts in her mouth (and then proceeds to gag on it a minute later because she has put one too many pieces of food in her mouth), the smile and giggle as she's looking through her stack of board books, the excitement of propelling herself forward, arms outstretched for balance, toes curled into the floor for stability...sheer momentum getting her from point to point. Expert crawler, novice walker, but willing to practice at it every day. I could easily watch her for hours. The cheeks on this kid are just an added bonus. Very kissable.

Onto my more inner world. As far as work goes, when did birth become such a spectator sport? The woman with her 5 younger children and various aunts, uncles, and grandparents lined up on the couch...the woman who was absolutely fine with allowing both grandparents in the room while I catheterized her (grandpa hid behind a newspaper, revealing to the rest of us that he wasn't absolutely fine with this), the young woman who only allowed her three closest friends in the room (these grown women colored on black fuzzy posters all night while she labored), and most recently, the woman whose father sat in the "audience area" to view pushing and birth, while her mother and partner stayed in the more "modest zone" up by her head. Strange, huh? I admit, my mother and sister were present for Mia's birth (in addition to two midwives and Ian), but I asked them to be there for a specific purpose: to support me and take some nice photos of Mia and me just after she was born. I felt this was tasteful, I was grateful for their presence, and I know they were all equally touched by the experience. There are many births that I assist with that are special and meaningful like this...but often I feel uncomfortable for my patient because she might not realize how vulnerable and exposed she is. I feel protective of the birth, even though it is not my own. I know birth is a family event, but it is also intimate, raw, and private. Not unlike the process of conception which started the whole thing in the first place. Anyway, that's work.

Now, for my hobby. The scrapbooking convention was a hit with me, though I often shook my head and chuckled to myself at the crazed enthusiasm over stickers, ink pads, die cutting tools, and random products called "fabulous foil". Yikes. It was definitely worth going to, especially because I took two excellent classes led by two of the scrapbooking world's most popular "motivational speakers". These ladies are gracious and funny, excited about telling their stories through scrapbooking, and very down-to-earth and approachable. What a delightful job they must have! Their very healthy enthusiasm for scrapbooking is contagious and inspiring, and my list of potential projects grows longer every day. If only I could get paid to scrapbook full time!

In closing, God made not have directly been responsible for the creation of robots on any given day of the week of creation, but we certainly have him to thank for all these gorgeous spring flowers I've been feasting my eyes on. The daffodils are so perky and friendly...definitely my favorite spring flower...those and all the pink dogwood trees all over the city. Sunshine and warm temps made for a blissful weekend outdoors. Several neighborhood walks in the wagon, playing on the playground, riding bikes....ah, spring. Our transition out of hibernation. Refreshing, and well worth the wait.

creative block lifting

i'm finally meandering my way out of the "no scrapbooking for months" rut...actually working on my honeymoon photos. i made this cool cigar box/memory box thing with ephemera all over it and am working on the mini-scrapbook that goes inside. i started it months ago, but felt like i was going nowhere with it. so i sighed and felt sorry for myself and my lack of ideas and put it away. but now...now that i'm freshly organized and moved into my new "studio" in my bedroom, i find myself enjoying it again.

so the bedroom studio is interesting, but since i love the coziness of my room and it's rounded ceiling and surprising spaciousness, i think it's going to work. i actually have a closet big enough for my supplies, and i even cleared out half my dresser to make room for the essentials. it's kind of fun. i use the top of my dresser and ian's dresser as my workspace, lay out stuff on the bed, get the stereo going and sing to myself ...totally relaxing and rejuvenating. ian watches the little ones a lot so that i can have this time to myself.

looking forward to tomorrow, though, because i'm only working eight hours and then i'm off on a special birthday date with sweet husband. he took the kids out to get a cake today and when i asked nemo what kind of cake he said, "it's a surprise mom. i'm not going to tell you anything about the cake." since when was he in on surprises?

sunshine....what?

a surprisingly sunshiney, clear, mild winter day today. after organizing my photos and scrapbook supplies for the millionth time-actually using the photos and supplies is the next task-, i decided that we should not sit the day away inside, but immerse ourselves in it.

so we did. our weekly treasure hunt at the thrift store turned up some cute little things for mia, a very cool retro metal tray for me, and more books for nemo's huge collection. then, a relaxing meal at "no fish go fish" where we enjoyed the ultimate comfort food. homemade soup-i had mushroom barley today, ian had creamy roasted garlic-and two fish-shaped sandwiches fresh from the sandwich press. all for 5 bucks a piece, i might add. love this place. next stop, the park. where else on a sunny 50-ish degree day? nemo excitedly gathered acorns and bark and sticks so we could concoct a tasty acorn stew and mia enjoyed crawling around on the grass and getting really muddy. this was a tough one to let go of because i don't want my baby to have dirt in her fingernails and soil stained knees, but what the heck? the sun was shining, sky was blue, letting her scurry around and explore just felt like the thing to do.

must be trying to soak it all in during my last few days before i hit 29. and you know what comes after 29.

it's been awhile

as a way to distract myself from the "creative block" i'm experiencing as of late, i've rediscovered reading a good old fashioned book. from the library, even. my nose has been buried in two books in a series recently, and i'm not at all embarrassed to say they are in the "inspirational romance" genre. feel-good fiction, i like to think of it as. while the enjoyment is mostly effortless, it sufficiently does the job of stimulating my brain without clamboring for my constant attention like my children do...i use the term "clamboring" with utmost affection!
anyway, i plan to revisit oprah's book club list and pick up where i left off with william faulkner's classics. these were tough reads as i remember, and so will be more than enough to satisfy my need for brain stimulation.

nemo said something thought-provoking today. "the world, according to nemo" is daily discussion around here, half question/answer, half monologue, actually. questions like "why is mr. potato head a potato?" exclamations such as, "baby mia is bestroying my book!!" all day long, reasons why he shouldn't have to eat "regular food" before dessert, negotiating to use the computer or watch a movie, objecting to playing in his room by himself or taking a bath or going to bed or turning off the tv. all normal stuff. but today was a little different. he quietly sat at the desk, drawing his latest creation, and then proudly presented it to me and ian. this is how it went:
nemo: this is a sho-sho-sho
mom: what's a sho-sho-sho?
nemo: it's all things around you. like when i jump on the bed, there's a sho-sho-sho. all things around you comes.
mom: where did you learn about a sho-sho-sho?
nemo: i learned about it from me.
mom: what does it look like?
nemo: it looks like this. (he points to the picture he drew). it doesn't look black anymore. it looks like colors.
mom: is it around mia? and mama? and daddy?
nemo: yes.

very interesting. this post begins with the drawing that inspired this conversation.

here we go again

we became quite spoiled living in the house on 59th ave. it was the perfect size for our growing family, situated in a nice little neighborhood {though on a very busy & noisy street}, Nemo had a friend right across the street and it was two minutes from his new little preschool. Mia was born in the dining room, leaving a very sweet imprint in the house's legacy. our neighbors were quiet, and even though we rented it, it felt like ours. speaking of renting, our landlords were the best. even the managers they hired to care for the place were really personable and friendly.

so when it became more than obvious that, for many reasons, we'd have to move yet again, the idea took some getting used to. we dreaded the thought of moving back into an apartment..."downgrading", if you will. what if there wouldn't be enough room? what if we had the neighbors from hell, and they were not only next door, but right on the other side of the wall? what if our pride really couldn't take it?

but when I saw the "for rent" sign only one block from where I work, I knew we could make this happen. it turns out, the apartment we moved into was the same one we looked at four years earlier just before Nemo was born. it felt like we were right back at square one, only now with two children. interesting. aside from a few minor inconveniences (coin laundry in the basement!!), this has actually been one of our best moves...and there have been many!

here are the highlights of living in anita court apartments with two children and a husband:
*the hospital where i work is right across the street...my commute involves an invigorating five minute walk there and back!
*Ian brings the kids over to visit almost every shift that I work...I get to nurse Mia and connect with my family during the long 12 hrs away from home
*our dear friends, the Davises, are right across the street...they're like surrogate grandparents to the kids...so thoughtful and wise...we are incredibly blessed to know them
*we save $515/month on rent alone...not to mention no water/sewer and garbage/recycling bills, and a way cheaper gas bill...we are going to get ahead on this debt!!
*I don't have to work nights anymore, Ian in now the stay-at-home dad
*this place is surprisingly cozy...nice to take a break from the creaky wood floors...more closet space...I also like the "townhouse" feel of having an upstairs and downstairs
*we're located about five blocks from a really great neighborhood school that Nemo will begin attending next fall...no more preschool tuition!
*we're within walking distance of the MAX station...the best pizza in town...and a beautiful park
*we've gotten rid of a bunch of stuff we don't need and we're not so quick to buy more to fill the space...when I said cozy, I meant cozy {about 1/2 the square footage of our last place}; still, we're making every inch of it the Collazo home...simplifying is so refreshing

in shifting our focus from what we don't have to making the most out of what we do have, we are allowing ourselves a unique glimpse into appreciating every single blessing bestowed on our family. humility and gratefulness take over as pride and materialism slowly fade into the background. a bit idealistic, maybe, but this is the aspiration. live with less. actions reflecting values. I'm finally starting to feel at home. apartment living really isn't so bad.

a recent journal entry...

i'm not sure exactly at what point i decided i dreaded going to art class in elementary school. one day every week we had to file down to the art room, where mrs. saukus was sure to point out that we didn't color in the lines well enough or there was still too much white showing through or remark, "that's a horse?". she was way too serious to be an elementary school art teacher, rarely smiled, and just generally didn't seem happy. and, being the people- pleaser that i was {and still am} her whole demeanor intimidated me. art intimidated me.

i don't have a lot of natural talent in drawing or creating new projects. it doesn't come easily to my very linear, analytical brain. music i seem to get. art, not so much. i become frustrated easily because having to let go and think "artistically" seems too tedious and tricky. it's not me inherently. don't get me wrong, i'm envious of the right-brainers. i wish i didn't get cringe every time nemo asks me to "draw something, mama!" i'm really good at tracing and coloring...i sing praises for paint-by-numbers...give me something that's already there and i'll be happy to add to it...but, a blank canvas? this leads the problem-solver in me to fidget nervously and scowl as i attempt to erase mrs. saukus' sourpuss face from my mind...

that said...i've recently begun an art journal in hopes of combining the written word {which i love} with thoughtful visual images {which is where the work comes in!!}.
so, here is the cover of my new art journal (a cheap mead composition book i purchased at a yard sale for 25 cents)...entitled "for your information..." i'm pleased with my little collaging skills and this new creative venture.